Goodbye Without Regret
by Jewel1001
Summary: One-shot. Jaden made the ultimate sacrifice for Jesse, and Jesse has to say something he never wanted to say to Jaden. Warning: Character Death.


Hazeru - So here's a one-shot. Something a bit different from what I usually write.

Hera - Personally we don't think it's too great, but hey, we promised a friend it would be up today.

Hazeru - Warning: This may be unrealistic. You've been warned.

Hera - Anyway, enjoy the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX

Goodbye Without Regret

Syrus spent fifteen minutes in the closed room of the infirmary and came out with crystal tears streaming down his cheeks. His grey eyes, glistening with tears, met the eyes of his many friends, all gathered outside the fateful room. His mouth opened, ready to speak, but no words came forth. Instead, a small squeak came from his throat and then he closed his eyes in despair, more sparkling tears falling. The short boy turned away from his friends - some of whom were shedding their own tears - and fled down the hallway.

Everyone followed Syrus with their eyes, none of them moving. Hasselberry reached put after the younger Truesdale with one hand, but a pale hand fell on his shoulder and preventing him from moving at all. Hasselberry turned to see Syrus' older brother, Zane Truesdale, standing there, arm outstretched.

"Let him go" Zane said, his face emotionless - a mask, his way of hiding his own pain at the tragedy that had befallen the eventful island.

All of the gang was standing outside the infirmary of Duel Academy, going in one at a time to say their last words to their greatest friend.

/

In the midst of all the sorrow, stood one person whose grief out shadowed the sadness of everyone else in the hall.

Jesse Andersen looked down at the floor and didn't shift his eyes. He was going to be the last one here to go in. It had to be that way.

After all, this was his fault.

Syrus had been the second last person to go into that infirmary. That meant that, with his departure, it was Jesse's turn now.

Taking a deep breath - it hurt, not physically, but emotionally, just like everything else - Jesse managed to bring his eyes away from the floor and up to the door in front of him.

On one side of the door Alexis Rhodes was leaning against the wall. The girl's head was tilted forward and her hands were covering her face, but one could tell that she was sobbing. Her shoulders shook and her crying was only vaguely muffled by her fingers, now wet with tears.

On the other side of the door was Chazz Princeton. The pale skinned boy was looking at the floor, his black eyes open but not focused on anything. Chazz wondered if he would cry later on, or do the usual thing and lash out. Whatever happened later, he wasn't going to show any weakness - tears and whispers of regret - like the others were doing. The Chazz wouldn't show any weakness, particularly for a slacker like the boy in the infirmary. A boy who was his greatest rival.

Jesse Andersen looked away from the two on either side of the door, his eyes scanning around him. Hasselberry, Zane, Jim, Axel, Blair, Atticus, Aster …

All the people who had to say goodbye.

/

Placing his hand on the door handle seemed like a huge task. He could feel the eyes of the others on him, burning into his skin, but he didn't take any notice. Whatever pain their gaze could hold could never compare the massive guilt in his heart.

Jesse opened the door and walked in, but he didn't dare to look up from the ground. The floor was in need of cleaning, he noticed, just a little. It was the infirmary and should be sanitary without fault, he'd mention it to Miss Fontaine later.

Who was he kidding? No he wouldn't. He'd forget, since greif and guilt - a dangerous combination - would overpower him once he had done this.

He heard the vague click of the door as he shut it behind him, effectively cutting himself off from his friends - all but one of them.

That sole person lay on the infirmary bed.

Jesse could feel the pounding of his heart, like it wanted to burst out of his chest and flee from his body. Jesse almost wished that it would - if you didn't have a heart, then it couldn't be broken, like his already was.

He hated this. This was all his fault!

Jesse could feel his eyes stinging but he blinked furiously. He wouldn't let them fall, not yet. It wasn't time.

Another deep breath was in order as Jesse finally looked up, but he held this one inside his lungs.

And let his eyes fall on the infirmary bed.

/

Bleeping sounds, blinking lights, they meant nothing. Jesse's occupied mind couldn't even register them as his eyes at last fell on the one person who meant everything to him.

On that infirmary bed, sheets pulled up to his waist, was Jaden Yuki.

Jesse's legs felt like lead. He couldn't move - the sooner he did, the sooner he had to speak words that he never wanted to leave his lips.

What was he even supposed to say? There were no words for this.

But that didn't mean he couldn't try.

Jesse forced himself to move towards the bed, heart pounding more with every step. This wasn't fair, not on him, on Jaden, on their friends …

Not on anyone. Why did this have to happen?

Jesse stood just beside the bed, as all Jaden's friends had done this day. His pale green eyes rested on the expressionless face of the hero of Duel Academy, one of the world, even.

Jesse pressed his lips together and looked away from Jaden's face, unable to look at his closed eyes.

The last time Jesse had seen those rich chocolate eyes, they had been half open and filled with sudden pain. They had focused on Jesse's shocked face and another emotion had shone in them - an emotion that Jesse couldn't pinpoint.

That emotion had, however, disappeared when Jaden's eyes had changed - they were no longer their own brown colour, but rather one bright orange and one deep green. Jesse had recognised them to be the eyes of Yubel.

Jaden had told Jesse about his fusion to the spirit, and Jesse couldn't think even now on what that had meant for him. Jesse didn't know how to feel about it. Yubel had hurt all their friends, possessed him …

But after hearing why she had done it all, Jesse had forgiven her. Sort of. There was still conflict between them, and Jesse supposed that it would forever be there.

Jaden had told Jesse that not only was he going to tell Jesse the truth, he was going to tell him more than he was telling to all his other friends. When Jesse had asked why, the other had simply replied that he owed it to him, and Jesse hadn't argued. It wasn't that he blamed Jaden, he truly didn't, it was just that he wanted to know what could provoke Jaden to make such a huge sacrifice in fusing his soul with Yubel's.

After hearing the story - as much of it as Jaden had told him, though Jesse had suspected that the brunette had left out some parts - Jesse had realised something.

Jaden didn't see his actions as a sacrifice. Jesse was surprised to see that Jaden wasn't just tolerating Yubel, he honestly liked her. Although he hadn't said it outright, Jesse knew Jaden well enough to see through the boy's words, and realise that Jaden did, in fact, love Yubel.

And that had pierced a hole in Jesse's heart.

Because Jesse was in love with Jaden.

/

Jesse blinked and brought himself back to the present, and his eyes hovered once more over Jaden's face - what of it was completely on show. A mask was over his mouth and nose, blurring them from Jesse's vision. A respirator.

It was strange to think that although Jaden was breathing, it wasn't his body that was doing it, but a machine instead.

"I'm so sorry …"

Jesse's words hung in the air, breaking the silence of the room, save for the beeping of various medical monitors.

After breaking the sacred silence, Jesse finally allowed himself to cry. Delicate tears fell slowly down his cheeks, leaving his eyelashes wet and obscuring his vision of the world - more importantly, of Jaden.

Jesse felt his knees go weak and he knelt down beside the bed, having to look up now at Jaden's face, but feeling it was better this way.

After all, from now on he would have to look up.

Quiet sobbing filled the room, and had his heart not been breaking more by the second, Jesse would have been embarrassed and surprised. He didn't usually cry, it was never something he did, not since he was a young child. And yet now his tears fell easily, like they had been dammed up and were only now being let loose.

"Oh, Jay …" he said in a broken whisper. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault!"

No more words could be said. 'I'm sorry' didn't cover it. _No _words could cover it.

Jesse didn't even know what had happened. He had been with Jaden on a perfectly normal day, up on the roof of Duel Academy. It had been what they did all the time, even now. Jaden was less childish than he had been before, it was true, but there was something about the more mature Jaden Yuki that Jesse had found attractive - in more ways than one.

Jesse couldn't remember the events of that day clearly, even though it was only the previous evening.

He had been talking with Jaden, they'd heard movements, footsteps, and turned around …

Jesse wished that he hadn't gotten up to go see who it was. Maybe if he had stayed put, none of it would have happened.

The figure that had stumbled into view had been a student, one from the Ra Yellow dorm - one that was clutching a bottle of vodka in one hand. An empty bottle. A _broken _bottle.

Where had he gotten the alcohol? Jesse didn't know and he didn't care. The student was, probably, perfectly harmless and just messing around, experimenting with drinking with a group of friends and getting too drunk - unfortunately he was a mean drunk.

Jesse remembered asking the guy if he was okay, since his eyes were bloodshot and he was stumbling. What happened next was all too quick.

Jesse hadn't even been aware that Jaden had gotten up and come to stand beside him.

And he hadn't even had a chance to register what was happened before the drunken guy had lunged for him, too quick for Jesse to get out of the way …

But giving enough time for Jaden to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Jesse had watched in horror as he saw the sharp, colourless glass sink into the chest of the Slifer student. Jaden had pushed Jesse out of the way, but he didn't have time to get out of the way himself.

Most people wouldn't have been able to react that fast, but Jaden had. Was it all down to his determination to save his friend or more to his added powers thanks to his fusion with Yubel? Jesse didn't know, and he knew he never would.

He had heard the sound of running footsteps and a whole gang of people had arrived - all of them smelling of alcohol and pleasantly tipsy, but not drunk, like the attacker. They had grabbed their friend - presumably they had been drinking together - before they had even noticed the body lying on the ground.

Jesse had screamed out in terror and fallen beside Jaden's wounded body. The brunette's eyes were open, just about, but unfocused, their light fading. They had stared up at Jesse.

And in them Jesse had seen an emotion that could only be described as love.

And then they had turned green and orange, and Jesse now wondered if Yubel had done that on purpose or if it was an instinctive reaction, or something else entirely.

But Jesse's mind was hazy after that. He knew that the Ra Yellow students had gotten in contact with the school nurse and that he himself had lifted Jaden's bleeding body off the ground and carried him the short journey into the infirmary.

He hadn't been allowed to stay in the room while Miss Fontaine took care of the wounded duellist. By the time she had emerged from the infirmary, Jaden's friends - his own friends, as well - had heard about the incident and had gathered outside the infirmary with him, all of them waiting for the news.

But when the news had came, they had wished they hadn't heard it.

Jaden was dying, there was nothing that could be done. His vital organs in his chest were damaged, but his death was going to be slow. There was no way to save him - the damage was too much - but he could keep going using life-support systems.

But that wasn't really life.

That meant that Jaden would spend the rest of his life lying in bed, hooked up to machines, unable to go anywhere or do anything. He'd never have a thrilling duel again, he'd never go on an adventure, do all the things he had always wanted to do - most of which he hadn't told anyone about, since many of his aims had become targets only since his fusion with Yubel.

Jaden might wake up, he might not. It depended on how active his brain was, and since there was all sorts of damage in his chest, wounds so close to his heart, who knew what trouble that could mean.

That wasn't a life. It wasn't what Jaden would have wanted.

Everyone knew that.

Which was why they had made the fateful decision.

/

Jesse's sobs got louder and louder, filling the room until he was sure they were creeping out under the door and being heard by his friends - after all, they had been able to hear Syrus' crying from within this room, even though many of his friends in the hallway had been sobbing, too.

"Oh God, Jaden … I'm so, so sorry …"

Jesse knew that there was nothing he could do, no words he could say, that would make the outcome of this any different.

After he had said goodbye, they were going to turn off the life-support systems.

Was it murder? No.

Because Miss Fontaine said that there was blood clotting, and it was becoming a full-body problem. The cut wasn't a single cut, it was a few, and they were all deep. His lung had been punctured, and nerves had been cut.

Miss Fontaine said that she expected the blood would eventually build up somewhere, since it wasn't able to take its normal route - and that place was going to be in Jaden's neck, his head.

This ordeal could result in severe head trauma. Already minor fluid had built up.

Jaden was alive, but he wasn't Jaden, not any more.

If he wasn't going to wake up, why keep him suffering?

The school had contacted his parents. They had come and gone from this room already - flying immediately, care of Duel Academy's hired plane - having arrived less than two hours ago, flustered and devastated.

Was it within the law? Who knew. Who cared?

Jaden's parents knew that he wouldn't have wanted to live this way, if he was going to live properly at all.

It was their choice. If the law would catch them later, so be it.

They were turning off the life-support systems.

Neither his mother nor his father could bear to watch their son become this invalid, this sick, sorry soul. Everyone understood that Jaden had been full of life, hope, dreams.

None of which matched up to what lay now on this bed.

After Jesse had left the room, Jaden's parents would return.

/

Sobbing was pitiful, unnecessary. What could crying accomplish? Jaden wasn't coming back, he had to face it.

Jesse stood up and glanced at a nearby clock - had he really been in this room for twenty minutes? He didn't know. What was time, now, really?

Jesse wiped his eyes and managed to bring his hand down on Jaden's cheek, stroking the soft skin there - cooler than normal, but not dangerously so.

Maybe they were acting too harshly …

But Jaden wasn't just anyone. He was Jaden Yuki.

Jesse remembered thinking just that when the Slifer had fallen to the ground, bleeding. Jaden was okay, he had to be. He always was.

But maybe not this time.

Jesse smiled sadly at the boy on the bed. Jaden couldn't survive without the machines. If they were unhooked, Jaden would die, since his own body couldn't support him.

Jesse felt like Jaden had been cheated. Jaden was fused with the soul of Yubel. Jaden was the Supreme King. Surely all that had to count for something! Shouldn't he have special strength or the ability to heal himself?

Jesse shook his head. Jaden was a hero, but not that kind, the invincible type that was read about in comic books and seen in movies.

Jesse remembered thinking about Jaden's 'abilities' as the brunette had lay, bloodied, on the ground. He had shouted Jaden's name, wishing he would answer. The strangest thing was that, after Jaden failed to answer, Jesse had shouted for Yubel. She protected him. Couldn't she do something?

But Yubel's power didn't work like that. She could talk Jaden out of stupid things, but she wasn't quick enough - because nobody was. Jaden hadn't thought about what he was doing, he had just acted. There wasn't time for anyone to do anything.

Nobody was powerful enough to act in that split second to stop Jaden from protecting Jesse.

But Jaden couldn't protect himself.

Jaden was powerful, but not so much so that he was invincible. His powers were in his emotions, his duelling, his soul. His powers weren't meant to protect him from a sudden attack like that - one that Jaden had flung himself in the way of, an attack that wasn't meant for him.

Why had Jaden acted so rashly?

To answer that, Jesse could only remember the emotion that had been in Jaden's eyes.

Was it love? Could it really have been love?

Jesse's breath caught in his throat.

Jaden might have loved him!

Maybe Jaden had loved him … but no, surely Jaden would have told him?

Unless Jaden held emotions for Jesse that he knew were never going to be.

Maybe Jaden and Yubel had a bond that was too strong for Jaden and Jesse to have that type of love …

"I wonder if it was true …" Jesse whispered, the words turning up at the ends with sobs in his throat.

"Jaden …" he whispered.

Tears fell once again.

"Jaden … I'm sorry … you did this for me … I …"

Jesse felt the presence of more than two people in the room, and he didn't want to turn around. The spirit in the room - he could feel it even if he couldn't see it, since it stood behind him - was not one of his Crystal Beasts, he knew he'd recognise them. Maybe it was one of Jaden's monsters.

Or maybe it was Yubel. Would she leave Jaden's mind at this point, to watch over him before the action was taken?

Jesse wondered, despite everything, what would happen to Yubel when Jaden died. Would she die with him?

He didn't know. He didn't know why he cared.

Maybe it was because she was a part of Jaden, albeit a part he was a little less fond of.

Jesse brushed the soft locks of hair out of the way, exposing Jaden's forehead, and leaned down. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips to the brunette's skin and let them lie there longer than was needed. He needed to commit this to memory, since he would never be able to be with Jaden this way again.

/

What seemed like hours later - though was in reality mere seconds - Jesse felt his tears stop, and for no particular reason, he smiled.

He could say it. And then he wouldn't have to regret not telling him.

"Jaden … I love you …" he whispered, knowing the brunette could hear him, even if there was no reaction.

"And thank you. So much. For what you did for me, Jaden."

Jaden had saved his life, making a sacrifice that he didn't need to. Even Jesse didn't know that Jaden was as selfless as that. Once again, Jaden had risked everything for him. This time the price was higher, much higher.

But Jesse knew that he was going to be okay.

The Supreme King would be reborn. Jesse wouldn't know him, but the thought was comforting. In a way, Jaden would return.

And Jesse had told him the truth. He had given his thanks.

And that left only one more word to say to the precious brunette. A word he could say, now, with no regret.

Jesse let his heart fill his voice as he spoke.

"Goodbye."

Hazeru - I know, I know. This story sucks.

Hera - However, she promised a friend that she'd write it.

Hazeru - I'd dedicate it to her, but sadly, she doesn't want to make a FanFiction account. Why I don't know. But this story is for her.

Hera - Sorry if this bored you.

Hazeru - And about Jaden's condition, I know it doesn't really work like that, but hey, people don't really get fused with spirits.

Hera - Shut up, Hazeru. Anyway, poor Jaden died.

Hazeru - As if they didn't already know that.

Hera - Anyway, R&R please. No flames.


End file.
